Knowing what to have prepared when you move is critical. If you’re going to be driving to your new destination you want to do your best to avoid any issues along the way—no one wants to get screwed while they’re far away from home. Be sure your car is prepared for a long journey, be sure you have everything you need on you in case you get pulled over—cops don’t seem to like people out of state causing them problems. On that note, it’s always a good idea to keep certain things on you at all times, and make sure you don’t carry other things that may become a problem should you lose them. Remember, being stressed out is the complete opposite of trying to chill, so we must do everything in our power to (sanely) avoid it. With that said, I’m going to leave you with a video of what NOT to do when your chill level goes down and you’re feeling stressed, after the break.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVxlCh7Hn-Q

There once was a 5 year-old boy. His name was Little Timmy. At his age it is time for him to attend kindergarten school. But young Timmy didn’t want to go to school, and refused to his mother. In reply, little Timmy’s mom said, “I’ll tell you what. If you get straight A’s in your classes each marking period, I will give you whatever you want. Little Timmy, loving his bargain, went straight to school that morning.

That marking period, Little Timmy’s mother checked his grades. To her enjoyment, she found he had gotten all A’s. She then said to Little Timmy, “What do you want as your gift?” Now, Little Timmy thought a moment. He then said to his mother, “I want a Ping Pong ball.” Puzzled, Little Timmy’s mother agreed, and bought him a Ping Pong ball. The next marking period, Little Timmy had gotten A’s again. His mother asked him again, “What do you want as your gift?” Now, Little Timmy thought a moment. He then said to his mother, “I want 2 Ping Pong balls.” Puzzled still, Little Timmy’s mother agreed, and bought him 2 Ping Pong balls.

Throughout his time in Kindergarten, he requested more and more Ping Pong balls. On his final marking period, he had gotten straight A’s once more. This time, Little Timmy wanted just 1 Ping Pong ball, painted red. Little Timmy’s Mother went out and boguht him a red Ping Pong ball. Finally, she asked Little Timmy, “Why do you ask for so many Ping Pong balls?” Now, little Timmy thought a moment. He then said to his mother, “Give me until the end of Elementary school, and I will tell you.”

Hesitantly, his mother agreed. Throughout the course of the years of Elementary, he asked for a variety of colored ping pong balls. Some red, some yellow, some blue, some even black. On his final marking period of 4th grade, Little Timmy wanted 10 Ping Pong balls. 1 red, 2 green, 3 brown, and 4 grey. After giving him his gift, she then asked Little Timmy, “Why have you been asking for Ping Pong balls?” Now, Little Timmy thought a moment. He then said, “Give me until the end of Middle School, and I will tell you.” With a long sigh, she agreed.

Throughout those years he excelled through his grades. He asked for big Ping Pong balls, small Ping Pong balls, but never regular shaped. Finally, his graduation to High School began. He asked for 50 white Ping Pong balls. After getting his balls, she asked him, “Why have always asked for Ping Pong balls?” Now, Little Timmy thought a moment. He then said, “Give me until the end of High School, and I will tell you.” Resentfully, she agreed.

Years passed from then. Little Timmy asked for many different balls. Big blue ones, small brown ones, yellow broken ones, and white tiny ones. Little Timmy had now graduated from High School. He was given a scholarship to Harvard University. This time, he asked for just one Ping Pong ball. His mother got him the ball he wanted, and asked, “Why have you asked for Ping Pong balls all these years?!” Now, Little Timmy thought a moment. He then said to his mother, “I will tell you. But let me tell my girl friend first. Happily, his mother Agreed.

Little Timmy began crossing the street to his girl friend’s house. Out of nowhere a truck ran him over, killing him.

Don’t kill me.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? Death! What’s that, a bonus?! I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!