trying to chill

Why don’t you navigate yourself to the back of the line with your feet and stand there with your shirt?!

Or is it Eastern? Well in any case, I haven’t made any posts lately (for my huge following of half a dozen readers, maybe). Preparing for the girlfriend to move in, helping my friend move, working on my store, following the primaries and reading. There’s a bit of excitement when you’re moving but it’s important to make sure you prepare for your move so you don’t end up stressing yourself out after the fact—this applies even more so when you’re moving to a different state. Speaking of moving, I’m going to have to say it’s the complete opposite of trying to chill, there are countless things you have to remember to do! The fiasco of preparing and getting organized, packing, renting a truck, finding an amazing friend to help you with all the lifting, etc. I think I’ll hire a mover when I’m ready.

Knowing what to have prepared when you move is critical. If you’re going to be driving to your new destination you want to do your best to avoid any issues along the way—no one wants to get screwed while they’re far away from home. Be sure your car is prepared for a long journey, be sure you have everything you need on you in case you get pulled over—cops don’t seem to like people out of state causing them problems. On that note, it’s always a good idea to keep certain things on you at all times, and make sure you don’t carry other things that may become a problem should you lose them. Remember, being stressed out is the complete opposite of trying to chill, so we must do everything in our power to (sanely) avoid it. With that said, I’m going to leave you with a video of what NOT to do when your chill level goes down and you’re feeling stressed, after the break.

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This one is probably a fairly old one, but I laughed reading it today, enjoy.

There once was a 5 year-old boy. His name was Little Timmy. At his age it is time for him to attend kindergarten school. But young Timmy didn’t want to go to school, and refused to his mother. In reply, little Timmy’s mom said, “I’ll tell you what. If you get straight A’s in your classes each marking period, I will give you whatever you want. Little Timmy, loving his bargain, went straight to school that morning.

That marking period, Little Timmy’s mother checked his grades. To her enjoyment, she found he had gotten all A’s. She then said to Little Timmy, “What do you want as your gift?” Now, Little Timmy thought a moment. He then said to his mother, “I want a Ping Pong ball.” Puzzled, Little Timmy’s mother agreed, and bought him a Ping Pong ball. The next marking period, Little Timmy had gotten A’s again. His mother asked him again, “What do you want as your gift?” Now, Little Timmy thought a moment. He then said to his mother, “I want 2 Ping Pong balls.” Puzzled still, Little Timmy’s mother agreed, and bought him 2 Ping Pong balls.

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I don’t know where this originated, I’ve heard from George Costanza (Jason Alexander’s character on Seinfeld), George Carlin, and who knows where else. Anyway, it’s a funny quote I thought I’d share even though I’m sure it’s been quoted in hundreds of blogs.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? Death! What’s that, a bonus?! I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!