Rant incoming! We’ve heard it all before, everyone’s got their own story. Well, here’s mine. Had to fly up to Allentown, PA this past weekend for my cousin Laith’s wedding (congratulations!). It was beautiful up there, a beautiful wedding as well. Anyhow, the airport — Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International (FLL). The usual get in, get passed security and find your gate so you can sit down and analyze all the people around you. You know, look out for the fat people, the babies, the people who look like hobos, etc. and keep your fingers crossed.
Moving right along to the security checkpoint — I toss my keys, belt, shoes in a bucket and put my carry-on through the conveyor and walk through the metal detector. Guy has this super serious look, “What’s that bulge in your pocket??” “It’s my sunglasses.” “Put them in a bucket.” “Okay, but they’re plastic..” (obviously) “Put them in the bucket.” I comply since I don’t want to be gunned down by some fool who has a superiority complex. I decide to toss my wallet in the bucket with my glasses since I don’t need another comment about a bulge in my pants (giggity). So I grab my stuff and get a lecture afterwords on how I should have put my wallet in my bag and not left it sitting out there, whatever, just let me get to my damn gate already.
Keep in mind my keys and wallet were the only thing in a bucket/container. The next morning I wake up and think, weird, I don’t remember taking my pocket-knife off my keychain. Crap! Lo and behold I see my serrated blade pocket-knife on my keys. Okay, all the fuss about seeing if I can keep my Mach3 in my carry-on bag, all the fuss about buying bottles for stupid liquids, all the fuss at security over nonsense. And a knife goes through unquestioned even though it was practically by itself. A knife more dangerous than what they used on 9/11. I guess as long as I can’t kill more than one person in one shot it’s not important enough. You know, between the administration and this stupid government we have in power, the fear mongering, taking our rights and freedoms for false security. I’m really almost not surprised. Almost. All I can do is sigh… TSA: go fuck yourselves. You’re a god damn joke.
Forewarning—this is a rant, proceed cautiously. Now, I normally didn’t want to post any rants on TTC, but I figured in this case and maybe future cases it’s absolutely justified. HostGator came recommended from some hosting-talk forums, not to mention ’sponsored’ as well. My conclusion is that they probably wasted a ton of money on ads and fake reviews judging from their service.
Let’s start with initial sign-up (this is for HydroBarn). The process went smooth, however, their internal billing system is shoddy. It runs off of a “billing” user account on their server and it doesn’t tie in to your original user account. Did I mention it’s slow as balls? Whatever. Up-time has been acceptable. So I need an SSL certificate for my shopping cart. I need a static IP. Additional $2 a month? Okay, I guess. I purchase an SSL certificate from GoDaddy and I’m greeted with a link to SSL configuration on their web page by a live chat support rep, no problem. Generate CSR, get my certificate. “Now what Mr. HostGator support?” Yet another link to their site. They want to charge $10 to install the certificate. What? WHY?!
Or is it Eastern? Well in any case, I haven’t made any posts lately (for my huge following of half a dozen readers, maybe). Preparing for the girlfriend to move in, helping my friend move, working on my store, following the primaries and reading. There’s a bit of excitement when you’re moving but it’s important to make sure you prepare for your move so you don’t end up stressing yourself out after the fact—this applies even more so when you’re moving to a different state. Speaking of moving, I’m going to have to say it’s the complete opposite of trying to chill, there are countless things you have to remember to do! The fiasco of preparing and getting organized, packing, renting a truck, finding an amazing friend to help you with all the lifting, etc. I think I’ll hire a mover when I’m ready.
Knowing what to have prepared when you move is critical. If you’re going to be driving to your new destination you want to do your best to avoid any issues along the way—no one wants to get screwed while they’re far away from home. Be sure your car is prepared for a long journey, be sure you have everything you need on you in case you get pulled over—cops don’t seem to like people out of state causing them problems. On that note, it’s always a good idea to keep certain things on you at all times, and make sure you don’t carry other things that may become a problem should you lose them. Remember, being stressed out is the complete opposite of trying to chill, so we must do everything in our power to (sanely) avoid it. With that said, I’m going to leave you with a video of what NOT to do when your chill level goes down and you’re feeling stressed, after the break.
This one is probably a fairly old one, but I laughed reading it today, enjoy.
There once was a 5 year-old boy. His name was Little Timmy. At his age it is time for him to attend kindergarten school. But young Timmy didn’t want to go to school, and refused to his mother. In reply, little Timmy’s mom said, “I’ll tell you what. If you get straight A’s in your classes each marking period, I will give you whatever you want. Little Timmy, loving his bargain, went straight to school that morning.
That marking period, Little Timmy’s mother checked his grades. To her enjoyment, she found he had gotten all A’s. She then said to Little Timmy, “What do you want as your gift?” Now, Little Timmy thought a moment. He then said to his mother, “I want a Ping Pong ball.” Puzzled, Little Timmy’s mother agreed, and bought him a Ping Pong ball. The next marking period, Little Timmy had gotten A’s again. His mother asked him again, “What do you want as your gift?” Now, Little Timmy thought a moment. He then said to his mother, “I want 2 Ping Pong balls.” Puzzled still, Little Timmy’s mother agreed, and bought him 2 Ping Pong balls.
Foundation by Isaac Asimov. Of the books I’ve read thus far, I think this was the most difficult to get through. Not to say that it was bad, but I’m not used to a certain writing style and certain method of progressing through the story. In addition, Foundation was published in 1951, so there are key differences in style and vocabulary. That being said, it was a great book. Asimov’s Foundation series (and in general), as I said, has been and still is the inspiration for many writers.
The Galactic Empire had lasted for 12,000 years and ruled over a million planets. But now it was dying. Hari Seldon, creator of the science of psychohistory, knew that it’s death would be followed by 30,000 years of brutal barbarism and savage warfare. To preserve knowledge and shorten the dark period to a mere thousand years, Hari Seldon set up the Encyclopedia Foundation and staffed it with the best scholars and scientists of the Empire. Then he placed it upon Terminus, a bleak world at the edge of the galaxy. But now the Empire was retreating, leaving the Foundation isolated and unprotected. Around it, little barbarian kingdoms were already beginning their wars in search of dominance. The Foundation knew itself as the only hope of mankind. But what could it do, alone and helpless, against the greed of the warlords who were reaching out to conquer and destroy it.
Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card. I’ve actually been putting this off for a bit because I was a little afraid of reviewing it (you’ll see why later). OSC received some inspiration from the classic Foundation by Isaac Asimov, among other things. It may seem silly but because of this I wanted to start Foundation before I wrote this review. I’d also like to note that of the books I’ve read thus far, this one is easily the best. Yeah, I know that’s not saying much.
Ender’s Game is set far into the future where we find humans preparing for their attempt to [drumroll...] save humanity! They’d been attacked twice by an alien race, the “Buggers,” and believe they may not survive another attack. Ender is 6 years old, a “Third”—3rd child at a time when families are limited to no more than two children—and is believed to be the one. For what? The government is looking for soldiers to lead their fleet and save the world, in this case a Commander, and they’re doing this by monitoring all newborns. Ender’s got an older brother Peter and sister Valentine whom is younger than Peter. Both of them extremely smart but ultimately deemed failures by the government in what they’re looking for. Because of that, however, they allowed a them to have a 3rd child.
I don’t know where this originated, I’ve heard from George Costanza (Jason Alexander’s character on Seinfeld), George Carlin, and who knows where else. Anyway, it’s a funny quote I thought I’d share even though I’m sure it’s been quoted in hundreds of blogs.
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? Death! What’s that, a bonus?! I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!
We know that having a lot of money gives you a solid sense of security, and with that you can reach a consistent high chill factor level. I want to go over a few key tips to help reduce money-related stress.
1.) Keep a record of your finances. This sounds like a gimme but it’s absolutely key. If you know exactly how much you’re making and exactly how much you’re spending on a monthly basis you can keep a near-perfect balance of your available spending. It’s also a good way to determine how much you can put into savings or investments on a regular basis. I highly recommend using Microsoft Excel (part of Microsoft Office Suite) or download the free Open Office Suite which has a nearly identical software package. Create a spreadsheet with a month by month log of your income/expenses. Being specific is key here. To use mine as an example, the first column consists of my regular bills (mortgage, electricity, phone/net, credit card, etc). Below that I have income and an area for unspecified finances (job income, interest, additional income, additional expenses). You can use “notes” to comment individual non-regular changes. Below those are the totals rows (total spent, total made, total left). Use the following columns marked by month to enter all the numbers, and you’ll have a very solid grasp of your finances.
For some Yoga is a great form of relaxation—for the rest of us, as Brian Regan says, it has the opposite affect. In this short clip from a great stand up special, he reminds us towards the end how most people like to relax. Relaxing, as you may have realized at this point, is a great form of chilling. That being said, comedy is absolutely key to chilling, or trying to. If you’re laughing, there’s a good chance the chill capacity level of your body is going up.
